The Devastating Effects of Bullying

 Bullying can cause devastating results that range from making children feel lonely, unhappy and frightened to causing them to commit suicide.  

It can make them feel unsafe and think there must be something wrong with them. 

Children can lose confidence and may not want to go to school anymore. It may even make them sick.
 
Some people think bullying is just part of growing up and a way for young people to learn to stick up for themselves. But bullying can have long-term physical and psychological consequences. 

Some of these include:

• Withdrawal from family and school activities, wanting to be left alone.
• Shyness
• Stomachaches
• Headaches
• Panic Attacks
• Not being able to sleep
• Sleeping too much
• Being exhausted
• Nightmares 

Children who learn they can get away with violence and aggression continue to do so in adulthood. They have a higher chance of getting involved in dating aggression, sexual harassment and criminal behaviour later in life.

Bullying can have an effect on learning 
  

Stress and anxiety caused by bullying and harassment can make it more difficult for kids to learn. It can cause difficulty in concentration and decrease their ability to focus, which affects their ability to remember things they have learned.

Bully Related Suicide

Bullying is painful and humiliating, and kids who are bullied feel embarrassed, battered and shamed. If the pain is not relieved, bullying can even lead to consideration of suicide or violent behaviour.

In recent years, a series of bullying-related suicides in the US and across the globe have drawn attention to the connection between bullying and suicide. Though too many adults still see bullying as "just part of being a kid," it is a serious problem that leads to many negative effects for victims, including suicide. Many people may not realize that there is also a link between being a bully and committing suicide.  

The statistics on bullying and suicide are alarming: 

• Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it. 

•  Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University

• A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying 

• A new review of studies from 13 countries found signs of an apparent connection between bullying, being bullied, and suicide. (Yale School of Medicine)

• Suicide rates among children between the ages of 10 & 14 are very low, but are "creeping up." (Ann Haas, Director of the Suicide Prevention Project at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention)

Amanda Todd Suicide 

The story of Amanda Todd, a 13 year old Vancouver girl who committed suicide in November 2012 after being bullied, brought international attention to the problem . 

Before she died, Amanda's posted a video on You Tube in which she used a series of flash cards to tell of her experiences of being blackmailed, bullied and physically asssaulted.  The video went viral after her death,  and resulted in an international discussion about the issue and potential laws to deal with it. 

A motion was introduced in the Canadian House of Commons to propose a study of the scope of bullying in Canada, and for more funding and support for anti-bullying organizations. Todd's mother, Carol, established the Amanda Todd Trust, receiving donations to support anti-bullying awareness education and programs for young people with mental health problems.

Amanda's story also resulted in another viral video of teenagers reacting to the bullying that caused her to commit suicide.  

More Resources on Bullying 

• Student bullying - infographic
  "The statistics show a student is bullied every seven minutes in the U.S.A., and that most of the time, bullying occurs on playgrounds.
  77% of students are bullied and cyber-bullying is rapidly approaching this percentage as well."
  

• The high price of bullying in the US "A global report on school violence identifies bullying as the biggest problem in US school playgrounds...
  It's a short walk from schoolyard bullying to school violence." (BBC)

• Two Teenage Girls Try to Drown Themselves
• Bullying Canada
• Stand Up to Bullying Red Cross Site
• Real Stories About Bullying 
• Lady Gaga and Oprah Lady Gaga and Oprah Tackle Bullying ( an entire reading and listening lesson) 
• Canada Safety Council: School Bullies

The True Effects of Bullying

Bullying: An Increasing Social Disease

Bullying has become a major problem in our classrooms, playgrounds, workplaces, and over the Internet.  But an increasing number of people and organizations have begun to fight back in order to educate as many people as possible about the devastating effects  bullying can have.   

 February 27th is anti-bullying day in Canada - better known as Pink Shirt Day - a day set aside to bring awareness to bullying issues and the devastating effects it can have. 

 What is bullying? 

Bullying is a form of repeated,and aggressive behaviour directed at children, teenagers, or adults. The behavior is intended to cause fear, distress, or harm to another person's body, feelings, self-esteem or reputation.  Bullying usually involves an imbalance of power. 

 Bullying can come in a number of different forms 

 Verbal bullying: name calling, sarcasm, teasing, spreading rumours, threatening, making negative references to a person's culture, ethnicity, race, religion, gender or sexual orientation, unwanted sexual comments. 

Social bullying: mobbing, scapegoating, excluding others from a group, humiliating others with public gestures or graffiti intended to put others down. 

Physical bulling: hitting, poking, pinching, chasing, shoving, coercing, destroying or stealing belongings, unwanted sexual touching. 

Cyber bullying: using the Internet or text messaging to intimidate, put down, lie, spread rumours or make fun of someone. messaging to intimidate, put-down, spread rumours or make fun of someone. 

 How common is bullying? 

According to the National Education Association, it is estimated that 160, 000 children in the United States miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students.  

• 1 in 7 Students in Grades K-12 is either a  bully or a victim of bullying
• 56% of students have personally witnessed some type of bullying at school.

• 15% of all school absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied at school.

• 71% of students report incidents of bullying as a problem at their school.
• 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.

  In Canada

• Approximately one in 10 children have bullied others and as many as 25% of children in grades four to six have been bullied. 

• A 2004 study published in the medical Journal of Pediatrics found that about one in seven Canadian children aged 11 to 16 are victims of bullying. 

• Studies have found bullying occurs once every seven minutes on the playground and once every 25 minutes in the classroom.

• In the majority of cases, bullying stops within 10 seconds when peers intervene, or do not support the bullying behaviour.

• Students are most vulnerable to bullying during transitions from elementary to junior high school, and from junior to senior high school.

There is a correlation between increased supervision and decreased bullying. Bullies stop when adults are around.  

To find out more about bullying: 

• Words in the News: Cyber Bully
• "The Daily Mail leads on a mother who has won a landmark legal case against Facebook after being sent death threats by so-called internet ‘trolls’." Full story
  + VOCABULARY + LINKS(englishblog.com)

• Bullying - Mindmap           
  
• Bullying (Wikipedia)
  "Bullying is the act of intentionally causing harm to others through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation..."
  

• One in five children is bullied online
  "One in five children aged eight to 11 is a victim of cyberbullying attacks, a new report from charity Beatbullying has found...
  The bullying prevention group surveyed over 1,500 primary school pupils, finding that 21 per cent had been "deliberately targeted, threatened or humiliated by an individual or group" using technology  (telegraph.co.uk)
• Cyberbullying (listening and reading from Kids Health.org) 

Videos 

• What is cyberbullying  
• The myths of bullying 

A  PSA is  a public service announcement, a type of commercial about important social issues. PSAs are meant to educate people and make them aware of the problems these social issues can cause  

• PSA Cyber Bullying Video  
• Words Hurt  

How does bullying affect people?   Read my next post. 

Listen to understand

Arlington is a city in Virginia, famous for the Arlington Cemetery and the Pentagon.  It lies on the River Potomac, directly across the nation's capital Washington DC. In fact, they're so close to each other that to me, they seem to be one city - Washington DC. But they are not, I've been told. So I took a bus to DC and then the metro to Arlington's Crystal City, where the American Management Association has its offices.

The seminar that I chose to attend was The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I believe everybody has read the book by Stephen Covey, watched the videos, tried to follow the advice more or less successfully and so have I. But I wanted to find more about how to be more effective, communicate effectively, how to build good relationships with people, good rapport with colleagues, how to model the way, how to motivate and be motivated, how to say no, how to balance the private and professional lives.

There were only six of us and I really enjoyed working with the participants  from different walks of life. Our instructor was Franklin Covey's Vicki Nartker,  who skillfully led this three-day workshop and made us feel comfortable and relaxed, even though she assigned us an evening opportunity (a. k. a. homework) after the end of each of the three  full  days. No one can develop a habit in 3 days, so we were paired up so that we can support each other and help each other build the habits and make sure we complete our contract - our big rocks over the next 7 weeks.

The most revealing for me was emphatic listening. S. Covey writes in his book:

"Seek first to understand"  involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply. They're either speaking or preparing to speak. They are filtering everything through their own paradigm, reading their own autobiography into other people's lives."

We've all been there and we've done that. How often have you said "He just doesn't want to listen to me!" - when in fact,  he does want it, he needs you to listen to him, he needs you to hear and understand him. He doesn't want you to do anything, but listen. Don't talk, don't give advice, just listen and reflect his feelings and words, not yours. For most of us this is difficult. Most of us listen with the intent to reply. That's autobiographical listening - we see other people's problems through our own glasses. Emphatic listening takes time and it requires both intent and skill, but it is worth it.

Perhaps we should use talking sticks for listening. Only a person holding the stick can speak for as long as they're understood.

My take-aways from Habit 5 are these three great tips for emphatic listening:

Focus on your intent.

Don't worry about the correct response.

Don't be afraid of silence.

Telling the date in English

There are some different ways to tell the dates in English.

1. General

How to say the year

You write	You say
1900	nineteen hundred
1901	nineteen hundred (and) one
	nineteen oh-one
1995	nineteen ninety-five
2000	two thousand
	twenty hundred
2002	two thousand (and) two
	twenty oh-two
2010	two thousand (and) ten
	twenty ten

You normally split up the year in tens.

1985 is split up in 19 and 85. (You say: nineteen eighty-five).

From 2000 until 2009 the year is normally not split up.

·         2000 = two thousand

·         2001 = two thousand (and) one

The word and is often left out. From 2010 on the year is split up again.

2010 is split up in 20 and 10. (You say: twenty ten).

2. Writing and saying the date in British English

rule: day – month – year

		Day		Month	Year
You write:		1st		January,	2010
You say:	the	first	of	January	twenty ten

Note: The two letters at the end of the number and the comma are often left out.

3. Writing and saying the date in American English

rule: month – day – year

	Month		Day	Year
You write:	January		1st,	2010
You say:	January	(the)*	first	twenty ten

* The definite article ›the‹ can be left out.

4. Sample sentences and the correct prepositions:

·         I was born in 1999. (Use in with the year.)

·         I was born in August. (Use in with the month.)

·         I was born on 12th May, 2000. (Use on in the complete date.)

5. Abbreviations BC, AD, BCE, CE

Sometimes BC or AD is added after the year.

Example:

·         1060 BC (ten sixty Before Christ)

·         1060 AD (ten sixty Anno Domini) – This is Latin for in the year of the Lord.

The abbrevations BCE or CE are becoming more and more common today.

·         1060 BCE (ten sixty Before the Common/Current/Christian Era)

·         1060 CE (ten sixty Common/Current/Christian Era)

·         1060 BC = 1060 BCE

·         1060 AD = 1060 CE

6. Note

It is common to use numbers instead of months.

British English

·         13-11-2010

·         13/11/2010

·         13.11.2010

American English

·         11-13-2010

·         11/13/2010

·         11.13.2010

If you write 4/8/2011, it is the 4th August 2011 in Britain, but it is April 8th, 2011 in the USA.

Adverbs of Frequency (always,sometimes,never)

We use some adverbs to describe how frequently we do an activity.

These are called adverbs of frequency and include:

Frequency	Adverb of Frequency	Example Sentence
100%	always	I always go to bed before 11pm.
90%	usually	I usually have cereal for breakfast.
80%	normally / generally	I normally go to the gym.
70%	often* / frequently	I often surf the internet.
50%	sometimes	I sometimes forget my wife's birthday.
30%	occasionally	I occasionally eat junk food.
10%	seldom	I seldom read the newspaper.
5%	hardly ever / rarely	I hardly ever drink alcohol.
0%	never	I never swim in the sea.

* Some people pronounce the 'T' in often but many others do not.

The Position of the Adverb in a Sentence

An adverb of frequency goes before a main verb (except with To Be).

Subject + adverb + main verb

I always remember to do my homework.

He normally gets good marks in exams.

An adverb of frequency goes after the verb To Be.

Subject + to be + adverb

They are never pleased to see me.

She isn't usually bad tempered.

When we use an auxiliary verb (have, will, must, might, could, would, can, etc.), the adverb is placed between the auxiliary and the main verb. This is also true for to be.

Subject + auxiliary + adverb + main verb

She can sometimes beat me in a race.

I would hardly ever be unkind to someone.

They might never see each other again.

They could occasionally be heard laughing.

We can also use the following adverbs at the start of a sentence:

Usually, normally, often, frequently, sometimes, occasionally

• Occasionally, I like to eat Thai food.

BUT we cannot use the following at the beginning of a sentence:

Always, seldom, rarely, hardly, ever, never.

We use hardly ever and never with positive, not negative verbs:

• She hardly ever comes to my parties.
• They never say 'thank you'.

We use ever in questions and negative statements:

• Have you ever been to New Zealand?
• I haven't ever been to Switzerland. (The same as 'I have never been Switzerland').

We can also use the following expressions when we want to be more specific about the frequency:

- every day - once a month - twice a year - four times a day - every other week